Memo 001: Meet the Assistant.

[prpl_assistant]

A. Action for 1337 Benny Road.

[The first thing Miss Pauling notes when she opens her eyes is how bright the bedroom is. She shuts her eyes tightly, having not yet readjusted to the light. However, when she opens them up again, she immediately notes something else.

The walls around her weren't coloured purple.

Confused, she reaches for her glasses at the bedside table, only to note that they weren't her usual optic wear either. They were just the wrong shape.]

That's strange, where are my glasses...?

[Her hands fumbled around for her familiar pair of spectacles, until she accidentally knocked over the lamp with a resounding smash.]

Ooops.

B. Phone

Hello? Is there anyone there? I...I think I've been kidnapped!

Comments

[un-beau-coquin.livejournal.com]

No clue whatsoever. Quaint, is it not?

Questions such as zhose, I am afraid, cannot be answered wizh any kind of certainty. Unless you are willing to accept an answer such as, "to screw wizh us".

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Clones? Are ya serious? I ain't a clone! I'm tellin' ya, I've been here forever. I could write a damn book on the shit I've been through here. Ya wouldn't even believe half of the shit this town pulls.

Yeah. Who'd they set ya up wit'? I might know them.

[prpl_assistant]

Ah. And their idea of playing with us is to give us a fake nuclear family to be part of?

[prpl_assistant]

I think I can believe you, Mr McCann. Though I would like to know a bit more about some of your experiences here. Could you pass me a brief summary of the events that have transpired?

Oh, let me check, there's a picture of my supposed "wedding" somewhere around here...

(A few minutes later, and he should hear the sound of a photoframe being dropped.)

Oh. My. God.

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

That's because now you are. While you're here, you will have to play the part of their mother. How unlucky.

[prpl_assistant]

Oh.

(That's about as much as response as she can muster for now.)

Is there anyway out of this place?

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

Will a simple 'no' do?

[ Doesn't get much better than this. ]

[prpl_assistant]

Yes, that would suffice.

(Miss Pauling really hates dealing with uncooperative people. But she really needs answers, so time to suck it up...)

So, how much do you know about this place then?

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

Ah... I should have slept in today. [ There's a sigh that follows afterwards, but speaks up again. ] The masterminds like to place us all in houses, having us act like undistinguishable humans. Sometimes, your family will be co-operative, the other times not. Now and then, when the masterminds get bored, they'll decide to have some fun. Are you still following?

[prpl_assistant]

Yes.

What sort of fun?

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

Poisoned milk. Locking people up in rooms for no particular reason. Some others, I'm sure, but those are the only two I know about.

[prpl_assistant]

I see.

Do you know if anyone has died from any of these events?

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

The milk one was very deadly. Some were lucky, some weren't. This town won't mind putting you to sleep for a game.

[prpl_assistant]

I've got a pretty good idea of what to expect from this place now. Thank you very much Miss.

[withwinter.livejournal.com]

Oh? I'm curious- what will you do with what I've told you?

[prpl_assistant]

(Miss Pauling pauses for a moment, before she gives her answer.)

I'll use it to get out of here, Miss. That's all I want.

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

There ain't anythin' "brief" about it, sister. So much stupid shit happens here, usually it involves people dyin' or goin' crazy, or both. Everyone respawns the next day, though.

Huh? What? Who is it?

[prpl_assistant]

The Administrator's going to kill me! Is there any way that I can switch houses!?

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

Yeah right! If it were that easy, people'd be doin' it all tha time. Ya don't gotta worry 'bout her anyway, she's been droned forever now. Wait, is it someone ya know? One 'a the guys?

[prpl_assistant]

Oh my God, I'm living with the R-!!

Wait, what happened to the Administrator? Is she alright? Is she hurt?

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

She was here ages ago, but got droned 'n' hasn't come back.

Come on! Yer killin' me here.

[prpl_assistant]

What do you mean, she got droned and hasn't come back? Is she still alive?

(She's starting to sound very anxious now. Help her out, BLU>)

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

People get droned here all tha damn time. People say it's the "permanent" kind, but sometimes they come back after awhile. Ya might see her somewhere in town but she'll act like a drone.

[prpl_assistant]

And how long has she been droned? (Miss Pauling can barely keep the worry out of her voice.) Is she in any form of danger while as a drone?

[freakinblur.livejournal.com]

A long damn time. Don't even remember how long.

Only from some assholes in town. When it comes to the shit Mayfield does, they usually focus it on tha rest 'a us.